Woman explains the foolproof way to orgasm...

Recently I’ve been asked of some sure fire ways to send a person into orgasmic bliss through masturbation.

And me being me, the only thing my mind came up with was, “get a toy” then my mind went into a fun place and started thinking of some of the men who helped me achieve some of the most memorable orgasms of my life.

But then I hummed and I haaed a little bit longer when I realised.

The only real reason I can orgasm is because I know my body and I accept my body for what it is.

I know for starters where my clit is. Would you be surprised to know that as much as many women laugh about men not know where they clit is, many women don’t even know? I know how my breasts and nipples enjoy being toyed with. I know how I like a man’s hands on specific parts of my body but not on every part. I like the feel of lube being drizzled on my pussy and then have a man slowly lick it from me. I know that as much as I love sex in water… my vagina retaliates and punishes me. I know how various lubes react with my body. I know that I love a man to tongue the abc’s over and around my clit while singing them all muffled like into my vagina slowly, so that I’ll always giggle and squirm on “j”. I know the best kegel exercisers for me are not really toys (they are just an excuse to get more and expand my collection) is to exercise them while I am going to the bathroom.

I know what I like. I know what I do not like.

I know what works, and I know what does not work.

Many women don’t know what they like and what they don’t like when it comes to their bodies. And I don’t just mean for sex. I mean for their own pleasure. Because as every woman knows, that it is not always about having an orgasm, but about the fun of trying to get there! One day I might tell you all about the one guy who excited me to no end in every possible manner and just by thinking about him, I’d get excited. But I never ever orgasmed while with him.

Well… let’s talk.

I strongly beleive that the more a woman knows her own body, the better she understands it, the better her orgasm will be. Doctor Ruth was right when she said that if a woman cannot orgasm by herself, then chances are she won’t be able to with her partner.

So ladies, and gentlemen who read this, today. I have a task for you all. This task is very very easy. Ladies, I want you to take a mirror and take a good long look at your vagina. Might I suggest sitting with your back up against your headboard with the mirror between your thighs just looking. Gentlemen, take a mirror and get your partners to do the same.

Pull your flesh in various directions. Parts your lips. Look at the colour, and feel the texture. Look at the colour of your clit, look at the colour of your labia. If you have hair, feel your hair. Explore this part of your body that many women do not take the time to get to know very well.

Did you know your vagina is as unique to you as your personality?

And if you look at the plastic surgery going on in the world today quite a fair bit of it is for women changing the look of their vagina’s.

For the longest time I thought mine looked like an elephants vagina. (insert laughter here… no seriously I did) Not that I had ever seen an elephants vagina but that is what I thought my vagina looked like when I stopped having frequent sex and started masturbating.

And let me tell you. When I first started thinking that thought? My orgasms decided to play hide n’ seek. And when I did have sex, I actually realised I was embarrassed over what my vagina looked like and what he would think when he went down on me.

And no orgasm.

Nope, I was never worried about the scent or about the taste, I was worried about how my body looked “down there”. I was nervous, I was afraid that the men I had been with were interested in freaky looking vagina’s.

But… over time and with a lot of hard work, I got over it.

Looking back now it makes me grin and fro time to time I will still do some of these things, but… when I was going through this all??? I thought it was something I did to have various colours, I thought it was my fault that my mound didn’t look like the other girls mounds. I thought it was something I had done that made my labia lopsided.

For the longest time, when ever I masturbated, I would use a mirror or I’d use my camera video taping myself playing then I made myself watch it a few times before deleting it. I’d force myself to watch my fingers or my toys slip through my slit, circle my clit… from start to finish I’d watch myself to get use to what I looked like. To get used to this is me. This is part of what I look like. This is part of who I am.

Over time, I accepted what my vagina was multi-coloured. I accepted that my vagina ranged in colour from a reddy-purple to a fleshy pink, to a rose colour when I was not aroused and that my labia were not of equal length.

And it took a while, but then I realised that my vagina was perfect.

It was perfect in all it’s imperfections.

It was mine.

It is another part of my body that is meant to provide enjoyment and pleasure. It is a part of my body that men desire. It is a part of my body that many people think should be hidden from the world because it is a “private part” (you know I so do not agree with this?) a part that should not be spoken of in classrooms and in common everyday discussion.

What is the point of this blog entry??

If anyone remembers or figures it out please let me know!!!

Right! A fool proof way to orgasm.

I was doing some research a little while ago about the most fool proof way to orgasm so I could try them all out and then post them here for those of you who had asked what are the sure fire ways to orgasm through masturbation. And I can across an article that says to sit with your back up against your head board or wall, let your feet touch together and your knees to the ground (think yoga pose) and masturbate in this position.

Pffft.

Well maybe no pffft for some but for me… huge poofter.

I found it wickedly nice how if I tilted my hips just a little bit my clit was easier to reach. But my other hand having to pull my labia up to expose my clit? That I did not like so much and I tried for over an hour to find my orgasm with no luck. I’ve tried it a few times, but notta.

Then another article by the same magazine claimed another fool proof way to orgasm. Sitting in the bath tub with the water splashing down onto your clit.

I have to say… I have never orgasmed in this way before. And god knows I tried. And then not to mention the issues with my vagina afterwards.

Talk about my vagina being an attention whore!

No wonder why so many women in the world never orgasm because they read magazines where they are told that if you do this you will orgasm because it is a sure way to reach the stars.

The way I masturbate does not work for everyone, and the way someone else masturbates does not work for me. Being on my knees, with my shoulders on the bed, I can have a real nice g-spot orgasm but no combined orgasms and after a few minutes in this position? My arm begins to go to sleep and then it’s painful. Some women love this position, and some don’t. Some women love to sit slouched in a comfy chair/couch, with their feet propped up on a table , some women prefer to be in the nude, some women prefer to keep themselves partially dressed.

For me? I love still wearing a top because if I pull my breasts up over the neck line they are higher and easier to play with my nipples and for some reason they just feel more sensitive.

There are hundreds of ways a woman could sit or lay down and masturbate. But to answer the number of emails I’ve received from readers on what is a sure and fool proof way to orgasm through masturbation… my only real answer is love your vagina. Learn about your body. Learn what touches and sensations your body enjoys. Take the time to learn.

After all… practice does make perfect!

For some women, they don’t realise that their body is just about to let loose and orgasm, they thing they are going to pee so they stop.

I cannot really speak of other women, as even when I was with some women, we never really spoke about it. So for me, these are things I usually feel before my body orgasms and then the orgasm itself;

- my inner thighs twitch and sometimes spasm

- my clit twitches (sometimes I don’t even notice unless I am paying attention) or sometimes it feels like it is pulled into my body a little

- I can feel my juices increase

- internally my vagina feels like it tightens

- my nipples harden

- my lower abdomen (think uterus area) begins to spasm

- my clit begins to spasm

- my vagina spasms

- my anus contracts (this does not always happen but it does enough times to mention)

- if it is a deep and powerful orgasm, my toes curl, legs get hard and tremble, my fingers clench

- if it is a g-spot orgasm I gush or squirt depending on the stimulation

- if it is a clitoral orgasm, I can feel my juices slowly trickle down my crack

- sweat breaks out between my breasts, forehead

- for a second to a few seconds, my mind goes blank and I feel warm-fuzzy- dumb- faced smiling relief wash over me

- if the orgasm is deep an yummy, I will keep that dumb faced grin for a while, and if it is not? I loose the dumb faced grin after a few minutes

-I glow but not that radioactive glow

Ok. Just so the record shows, I had to masturbate a few times to make sure I had some accurate information for you all. I also feel that I should let you know that sometimes, the only feelings I have are my clit spasming, or my vagina spasming with very little liquid coming from my body. And sometimes, I don’t get any of these sensations, and sometimes I get them all.

Each orgasm is different.

So ladies, and gentlemen who are reading this, the bottom line is this.

The only sure fire way to orgasm is to know your body. Know how it reacts.

In a couple of days, I’ll be posting another blog post about some of the things a woman can do to increase her orgasm as in making herself have better, more powerful and deeper orgasm. And let me tell you… some of these things are FUN and really uber easy to do!!

Till then!!!

w

Here are a few previous posts that you might enjoy:

G-spot vibrator comparison

Clit vibe comparison 

Problems with your orgasm? It might just be genetic! 

~ by Woman on July 4, 2012.