Handcuffs and Woman… lesson’s learnt

It has been a strange and eventful couple of days here in my world. So let me tell you a story so you will not only have the background fun, but you will also know why….

A few years ago when I was living in Hubei Province, some foreigners and I were at a bar, wearing the traditional women’s clothes where we showed off lots of skin. We had brought our own Tequila with us as well; much to the dismay of the bar owner that is. But we simply said if you want our patronage, start stocking things to drink that we actually like (sure enough, the following week he got some Tequila on the shelves and we had to start forking out 600 rather than 98 kuai for a bottle.  Damn bar prices!!!)

So scantly dressed women with ample bosoms, drinking Tequila shots while such terrible disco music played about our bodies so of course, tipsy women began to dance.  And then drink some more, play and flirt with various Chinese men who had enough gonads to actually try to pick us up.

That is basically how that particular evening went, and then when we decided to leave we needed to take a taxi to take us to the Dapaidan where we could sit our drunken arses down and eat the most delicious street food known to man kind.  As I stepped out into the road to flag down a taxi, I heard brakes squeal and I vaguely remember thinking that if I die in a car accident at least I had had a good night; and then felt the cold hard metal of the bumper against the backs of my knees.

Thankfully… people do not drive very fast in the heart of most Chinese.

I spun around slamming my palms on the bonnet of his car shouting some obscenities of being a jackass driver.

Glaring angrily at the tinted window of the shiny black car in the middle of the night, the door opened and I watched as a tallerish Chinese man got out of his car wearing a police uniform. Oh shit was all I could think.

Putting on his chapeau, and as all you regular readers know, I have such a thing for hats.  Now add in some Tequila, a cool night, hard nipples and the fact that when I was younger I was more horny than I am now… I knew I was in trouble, so why not have some fun at the same time? So anyways, turns out this bad driver; who was driving under the influence of his own bijiu glass (Chinese version of sake. Tastes like paint thinner, but golly. It knocks your clothes off pretty darn quick like) was a police officer. Not only just a police officer, but the Chief of police of the city… I found out a little bit later.

While I was standing there, shaking in my drunker proverbial boots.  I mean hitting the hood of of the chief of police’s car??? Yikes! Bad move Woman!!!!

So to make a longerish story somewhat shorter, ended up seeing him for a while and when I found out he was married? Stole his handcuffs and stopped taking his calls.

So that is where I got my first ever pair of handcuffs that I could own and call my own.

But I ended up loosing the keys for REAL police cuffs.  Now that is a funny story on its own. I went to Suzhou the winter before I left Hubei, there was the huge snow storm (ok, snow storm for Chinese people for me it was six inches of pure snowy fun), but the country was at a stand still. No one was getting in or out of pretty much any city in China.  Most of the shops were open so I went shopping while big and huge fluffy snow flakes fell about me.

For me, because I know me pretty well, I knew I had to put the key to the cuffs in a place where it would be damn near impossible to loose.  So the key lives on my key chain with all my work keys and house keys.  Hassle and noisy I know… but no chance in hell of loosing them accidentally. I mean this is me we are talking about here.

So I was walking down Pingan Lu, one of the oldest alley’s in the ancient city of Suzhou, it was crowded, and someone brushed up against me trying to steal my purse. I spun around and broke his nose, but little did I know those crafty little buggers work in pairs. And they got off with my keys, some bills and loose change.

Now if you think this is bad, it is not really.

I plan for these kinds of situations and plan quite well.  I had a full spare set of keys back in my house in Hubei, and the gate guards of the school I worked for had a set of house keys, as well as my Chinese sister and my maids. So I was ok when it came to all but one of my keys. And I rarely go out with more than 200 kuai on my person so not such a big deal. Really!!!

The part that sucked large fartknockers was that the cuffs were open in my hotel room, and that I was planning on bringing home the man I was sleeping with at the time and teasing him for a few hours before letting him watch me masturbate then going to bed.  I had been sending him messages all that day teasing him, sending him pictures, writing little ditties to him while he still had to work.

Yeah, but the keys to the cuffs were in some wankers pocket.  Ruddy pit pockets!!! Spoiling my evening!!!!

So that is story of my first owned pair of cuffs; how I got them and how I lost them. But you know? I should thank my lucky nipples that he was not tied up in my hotel room and the keys were stolen.  Now that would have been a funny story!!!! Can you imagine having to go to a repair man and try to explain why I needed to borrow his saw?  “Sorry sir, but there is a man handcuffs to my bed in my hotel room. Would this saw work on metal to get him free?” And then? Trying to get the cuffs off his wrists??? HA HA!!! Too bad handcuffs do not make a prettier bracelet.

Now the other day, I was flipping through my sex toy website looking at what else I would want.  And by chance I flipped into the restraint section of the site. Now I am not really into the whole BDSM thingie, I find most of it kind of off putting in my opinion. But don’t get me wrong, I do have a kinky side.  A really fun kinky side. I like to be tied up, and I like being spanked (as long as you don’t mind me doing the same to you), and I like a whole bunch more. But that is another story.

So anyways, I was flipping through the restraint section of EF and decided to read some reviews on handcuffs to get more points.  Did you know? Most of the handcuffs that they have, come with something like a safety thingie where if your keys get stolen, you can still be released! I was in heaven.  So check! And dropped into my shopping cart.

Then I decided that since I would be getting a package why not get some more fun stuff!!! So I picked up a pair of the clover nipple clamps as I was getting tired of the clamps I bought previously slipping off my nipples right in the middle of play time.  But I love my clamps! They are such fun!!! But need something a little more oomphishy.

Staying power if you will.

And because I have been having such amazing thoughts of handcuffs… not being used on me, but I have a sneaky suspicion that they will be used on me this summer… and as much as I might claim I hate it or all the thoughts of retaliation while I am there naked and on my knees, hands cuffed behind my back, hands in my hair while his cock claims my throat again and again and again… I might say I hate it at the time… or not look forward to it… but that would be a grand lie.  And because of thoughts like this and the thoughts of waking before him and binding his hands above his head, then having him watch as I please myself above his head with a glass toy, my juices falling in heavy droplets to his body as I thrust various toys deep and hard within me… I’ve done the only thing I can do at the moment.

Started writing about it.

You got that right! Soon! Soon! There shall be a story posted here about these thoughts.  At the moment, I am not certain if it will be part of the “Sharing is Caring… an erotic serial story” series, or something on its own, but you know how it goes. Some of these things have a mind of its own.  But of course, I shall leave you with a few snippets of what I have so far.  I do know how to be nice.  Sometimes.

But that will not save the man I plan to use my new cuffs on.  I plan on being pretty nasty… perhaps even somewhat vengeful upon him, getting him back for all the the times where I got carried away with what he was doing, and getting caught up in the moment.  Ohhh… the thoughts swirling around in my head… planning my evil plans.

You had better watch out you ninny!!!!

The other night I was filing my desktop pictures (everything gets saved there so I literally had hundreds of pictures on it) as I had to take my computer to work the next day and I’d be using the multi media machine do-hickey. So I had to tidy it up and make sure that no fun stuff was easily accessible. As I was doing so, I came to the discovery that  I had no new pictures of myself.  So later on that night, I decided to take my camera to bed, think happy thoughts of… well you know the usual. Kitchen counters, fresh bed linen from the line and quilting of course… and enjoy the moment knowing that I’d be keeping a record of the fun. I was going to go more…er… ummm… racy in this picture for the blog, but decided to save ones for a future story I am working on that I’ll post. Or just maybe in future posts.

And as promised… here is some snippets from the upcoming story….At the moment, it is simply called “Want” but I am not too keen on that title. If the story stays true to a woman’s wanting, the title will probably remain. Otherwise; you might see it changed to fit the series, or something totally different.  Maybe “He Wants”  or “Knitting with a Wench”. Ohhh that is a good title.  Might just have to create a little ditty for that one!!!!!

Guiding his hand up above his head, she clasps the cuff about his wrist, swinging the still open cuff around the polls in the headboard.  Taking his free wrist and fastening it securely within the cold, hard metal circle and snapping it closed.  Trapping his hands above his head while she just looked down at his sleeping form and grinned.

Her hand slipping between her thighs, a finger finding the depths of her wetness. Slick with her juices, she presses her finger against his lips. His nostrils flare, smelling the musk of her scent.  Coating his lips with her juices, his tongue darts out to meet her finger. Pulling her digit deep into his mouth, sucking it, his tongue making paint like strokes, taking all of her juices that he could.

And then????? Later on….(he is wearing the nipple clamps by the way)

Gripping the chain of the clamps in one hand, the blue base in the other, thrusting the dildo deeper and deeper. The sounds of each ridge slipping within her, sounding through the room like music mixing with sounds of her juices sloshing as the toy plunged harder within her. Her white cream coating her labia, sending droplets of her juices to his naked flesh.

And that is all you get for the time being. Am I not mucho nice????

So tally ho all you lovely readers!!!! Stay tuned to this channel for the next chapter of The World According to Woman… keep your hands to yourself… or place them on me. I’m not picky!!!


~ by Woman on April 7, 2011.

13 Responses to “Handcuffs and Woman… lesson’s learnt”

  1. Woman, seems we have a few things in common. We dream about food, screw police chiefs, and punch boys in the nose.
    Again, great wet post.

  2. Hmmm…

    Just one little pointer…when plotting do it in secret… just a thought!


    p.s. I’ve never screwed a police chief…

    • I did not share all the thoughts in my head!!!! Only a couple. The plan is to make him shiver in antica…………pation.


      ps- you are not missing out on much.

  3. oh woman again with the boobs lol. nice story as ussual dearie. oh and by the way, get out of my head!!!

  4. ‘delicious street food’
    Isn’t that an oxymoron?

    ‘I was more horny than I am now’
    Is that even possible?

    ‘Too bad handcuffs do not make a prettier bracelet.’
    You can try, though.

  5. Wow I look forward to future installments…maybe not the best blog for me to be reading…can’t see it helping my predicament, but on a serious note fantastic!!!!!!

    • Sorry darling!!! I am not the one who can really help you… although I can provide comedic relief every once in a while!!! Welcome to my brain!!!! Hope you enjoy the stay!!!

  6. You should have said something, darling. I have an extra handcuff key on my keyring. Don’t ask me how long I’ve had it or how many times I’ve had to use it or even how I got it. Just smile and wink.

  7. “waking before him and binding his hands above his head, then having him watch as I please myself above his head with a glass toy, my juices falling in heavy droplets to his body as I thrust various toys deep and hard within me…”

    Wow! Woman! I almost forgot how naughty you can be! However, it can be fun to be your man.:)

    • LiChuan… I do not think of it as naughty!!! I think of it as a mucho fun way to wake up!!! Start the day with a bang!!!

  8. A Police Chief who cheats on his wife? Boy, you can’t trust anyone aanymore, can you? Great post – and pics! – by the way.

  9. Ouch, nipple clamps on him? Okay, fine, as long as not me. But the trade-off, now I think about it, could be worth it. Woman, standing above, plunging dildos. hmmm…..

  10. Nicely written as always… a simple paper clip can open them as well, not a difficult locking mechanism to get past…. :)

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